When Kagura went to the Land of Oz!
by Blade of Hellfire
Summary: After Okita tears her dress during one of their battles, Kagura dreams of going to the land of Oz to enact revenge of him. Too bad, she didn't watch the movie or read the books first. Guaranteed hilarity!


**Hey guys! So I'm writing a GintamaxOne Piece crossover, and am trying to write a sequel to my Case ClosedxOne Piece crossover, and have been VERY bored. So recently, I watched 'That 70****'s Show', and saw the awesome Wizard of Oz parody they did. So I thought, what would it be like, Gintama-style? So anyways, one thing lead to another, and I wrote a parody on a parody. This parody's based of 'That 70's show' Wizard of Oz parody, so I hope you like it. We have:  
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**Kagura- Dorothy  
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**Sadaharu-Toto  
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**Gintoki- Scarecrow  
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**Okita- Tin Man  
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**Kondo- Gorilla (replacing the Lion)  
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**Otae- Wicked Witch of the West  
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**Kyuubei- Nice with of the South  
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**Otose- Nice witch of the North  
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**Catherine- Wicked witch of the East  
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**Shinpachi- Flying Monkey  
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**Tojo- A midget  
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**Hijikata- The Wizard  
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**So remember, read, enjoy, review!  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama, or any of the references made  
**

After a humiliating defeat from her boyfriend, Kagura fell asleep on his futon, in the Shinsengumi headquarters to contemplate her life, and dreamed a sweet dream; hoping to find guidance in her depressed atmosphere. So in her boyfriend's room, she fell asleep to this destined path.

**DREAM**

"Ne Toto, we have to find this Wizard-guy and kick his ass for kidnapping us, uh-huh!" Kagura rode on giant 'Toto', which took up the entire brick road. Suddenly…there's a rustling in the bushes. Out came Gintoki, in a cheap Scarecrow outfit.

"Oi, Oi, Kagura-chan…is this some kind of joke, cause I'm not laughing." The scarecrow with silver straw replied.

"Ne Toto, it's the Scarecrow with no brain!" Kagura pointed.

"I'll knock your brain out of your skull, you brat!" Scarecrow 'Gintoki' said.

"What do you mean Gin-chan, you make the perfect scarecrow- no brain!" Kagura replied.

"Kagura-chan, be very glad that my body is made out of straw right now." Gintoki twitched.

"Enough, brainless Scarecrow, onwards!" Kagura shouted.

RUSTLE! Out from the bush, came a very pissed-off looking bishounen-tin-man- hybrid. "China, are you trying to say something?" The bishounen stared at his girlfriend in annoyance.

"Look Toto! It's the heartless Tin-man! He needs to apologize for tearing his girlfriend's favorite dress!" Kagura pointed an accusatory finger at him.

"I don't recall you complaining by the end, China." Sougo smirked.

"SHUT UP! ONWARD!" Kagura cheered. After a few steps of marching, a GORILLA popped out of the bushes.

"Uh…Kagura-chan…I'm pretty sure that a bear was in this story, not a gorilla…" Kondo said uneasily in his gorilla costume.

"Yeah, but it's my dream, so I make the reality!" Kagura jabbed. "Besides, we have all of the main crew members here: the brainless Scarecrow (Gin-chan), the heartless Tin-man (Sadist/Okita), and the finally you- the Gorilla with no life!"

"Isn't there a lion who needs bravery or something?" Gintoki interrupted. "And besides, why are we crew members? Did this suddenly become One Piece?"

"This sucks, turn this into a private erotic dream for the two of us, China." Sougo added.

"Suddenly, I'm very glad I don't have a stomach." Gintoki replied with blue lines down his face.

"ONWARDS!" Kagura yelled. Suddenly, the wind blew, and in walked up a very pissed-off Otae in a cheap witch's outfit.

"Kagura-chan…who am I supposed to be in this dream exactly?" Otae twitched.

"Oh you're the wicked witch of the West with the power of 'Dark Matter' Eggs! Catherine was the Wicked Witch of the east so she was crushed by the house already." Kagura smiled.

"DON'T KILL ME OFF SO EARLY DAMMNIT!" Catherine demanded somewhere in the background.

"It's my dream dammit! I get to decide who has a major role in it!" Kaura challenged.

"That reminds me, whose the two good witches?" Gintoki asked.

"Us." Everyone looked to left to see Otose smoking a cigarette on a stone, in a ridiculous white witch outfit, including a plastic halo. The other was a an embarrassed Kyuubei in a white Lolita dress. "Are you happy now, Kagura? You made complete fools out of us, now wake up so we can forget this."

"AAHAHAHAHA! She made you two the good witches, and Otae a bad witch, that's so awesome!" Gintoki laughed.

"Says the brainless scarecrow." Otose replied, puffing. "Suits you pretty well actually."

"I just thought of something, where's Megane and Mayora?" Sougo asked.

"I'm right here." Shinpachi walked up the group miserably, in a flying monkey costume. "Does this mean I'm officially dubbed the butt-monkey of the group?"

"Uh-huh! My dream, and I say you're the flying butt-monkey!" Kagura declared.

"Kagura-chan…please make me a good witch, along with Kyu-chan please." Otae smiled with a dark aura.

"Oi, Kagura…do as she says or the burnt egg-black hole apocalypse will begin!" Gintoki insisted.

"WAH! Hurry Toto! We have to run from the dark-matter attack!" Kagura exclaimed.

BAM! Out jumped Tojo, who was dressed as a munchkin. "BURNT EGGS MUST NOT TOUCH MY LADY!"

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HERE?!" Kagura, Gintoki, and Shinpachi demanded. "THIS IS A DREAM!"

"Wherever my lady goes, I must follow! It's my duty to protect her!" Tojo declared proudly.

KICK! PUNCH! Otae, Kyuubei, and Kagura punched his lights out. "Get out of the damn dream, hentai!"

After twitching for several minutes, Sougo sighed. "Enough of this, let's kick her ass!"

"YEAH!" They all cheered.

"ONWARD TOTO!" Sadaharu and Kagura ran forward.

A FEW SECONDS LATER

Kagura stared at the person before her, who was eating mayonnaise and dressed in a leprechaun outfit. "Mayora…what are you doing here?"

"You made me the Wizard, how the hell should I know." He replied. "By the way…why am I dressed as a mythical, green midget?"

"I didn't know what wizards looked like, so I just dressed you up as the first hing that came to my head. Anyways, you're in your position because of your grudge match with the sadist, and you're going to help me defeat him! Uh-huh!" Kagura explained.

"Really? Finally! The first one who acknowledges my battle with death every day!" Hijikata smiled.

"Eh. Never mind. You're useless, uh-huh. Let's go, Toto." She left the stunned Mayora behind.

"OI! CHINA, CHINA!" Mayora's voice was to be ignored.

**Real world**

"China, China…" Groaning, Kagura woke up, and saw it was the Sadist.

"What do you want Sadist, I was having an interesting dream." Kagura groaned, sitting up in his futon.

"A dream about the amazing sex we had, after you lost the contest?" Sougo smirked.

"BASTARD!" POW! She straddled him, not noticing the item he was carrying. "That was my favorite China dress, and you ruined it because you couldn't keep it in your pants long enough to unzip me!"

"China…" Sougo sat up, making sure the girl stayed in his lap. "I couldn't help it…the way the splits exposed your legs, and the heat of the battle; I was so turned on, I would've died on the spot if I hadn't."

"We did it behind a bush and park bench; we gave Madao a nosebleed." Kagura deadpanned. "And I'm still made at you about the dress."

"Oh about that." He held out the item to her. Curiously, Kagura accepted the bag and opened it, her eyes widened at what she saw. "It's not the same, but hopefully it makes up for the cheap dress; unlike Danna, I can actually afford to buy you things like that." It was a beautiful dress, it was a vibrant shade of royal blue with crimson dragons embroided on it, with the slits high enough to be sexy, but not high enough to be considered slutty; her boyfriend took his time with the selection. Seeing her reaction, he figured he was back in the ball park. "Forgive me now, China?" Trying to push her backwards towards the bed.

"I forgive you, but…I'm not sleeping over for a week." And that's how a dress, Wizard of Oz dream, and single sentence gave Kagura the courage to destroy Okita Sougo's will to live.

**Review please! So yeah...my first crack-fic; it was awesome! I'm sure it's crap to many, but to me, it's awesome! Check out my other Gintama and Gintama crossover stories! Thank you!**


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